17 October 2011
Potluck Lunch At Trudy's Place
We had a little potluck lunch for Jolie and Allen at Trudy's home in Damansara Ara on Sunday 16 October 2011. It's a small reunion of sorts for those who turned up and we had lots to eat and catch up with the latest family news. A beautiful and joyous occasion especially with all the little kids running around.
26 February 2011
46. The Final Legacy
There are many valuable lessons we can learn from father Chung Chow: through his words, actions and fine example. He often talked about three family guidelines that were passed down from one of our ancestors Zeng Can who was a disciple of Confucius.
These guidelines or value ethics were built upon Confucius's early version of the Golden Rule: "What one does not wish for oneself, one ought not to do to anyone else; what one recognises as desirable for oneself, one ought to be willing to grant to others", and also Confucius's great emphasis on the importance of study.
These guidelines can help us live in harmony and be successful. They are held in high regards because they honour our forefathers and are for the younger generations to follow.
The first guideline is to give a third thought before one speak or act. One should not only think twice but thrice about the consequences of one's words or actions. One should not make decisions in haste without much thought, but to carefully and patiently think through its implications. It has similar connotation as the English phrase "look before you leap".
The second guideline is to fulfill one's responsibilities towards others. This is based on the values of integrity, honesty, trust, truthfulness, and sincerity. The example given by father is about one's responsibility to fulfill a promise, in this instance to repay money owed. If one promises to do so on a certain date, then one must do it.
The third guideline is to be diligent and excel in one's work and study. No matter what one's profession or livelihood is, one must work hard and do one's very best. If we can follow and practise these three guidelines daily, we will achieve harmony within ourselves and with others, and be successful in all the things we do.
Potluck Lunch at Trudy's Place
25 February 2011
45. Happy Reunion
On February 8, 2002, father started to have breathing difficulties and the home sent him to the hospital for emergency treatment. He was given a ventilator to help him breathe. Although he was semi-conscious, he was aware that all his loved ones had gathered around to see him for the last time. When asked what he was doing, he told us with a smile on his face that he and mother were on a world tour on board a big ship.
The next day, his condition did not improved. We knew how dearly he wanted to be with mother again, and we decided not to delay his departure from this world no matter how much we would miss him. No sooner had Suit Meng signed the consent forms to discontinue the support system, and stepped into the room, father took a deep breath and slowly released it, sort of like a sigh of relief as if to signal his approval, and breathed his last breath.
He was very calm and peaceful even at the very last moment, and had on a happy and serene face when he passed away at exactly 10.30 p.m. on February 10, 2002 - the night before the eve of Chinese New Year. He was 87. He used to jokingly tell us, patting his heart, that this "old engine is worn out and will give way one day", and it did as the doctor reported his death as cardiac failure.
As the hospital attendant wheeled our late father's body to the mortuary, three of his grandsons - Tony, Joseph and Chin Leon - and myself followed close behind like guards of honour. We wanted to make sure that his body was sent to the morgue safely.
The next morning, the eve of Chinese New Year, father's coffin was taken to the Prestavest Memorial Park near Taman Semerak in Pokok Assam. Father had always wanted a quiet affair with only close relatives and friends in attendance, and his wish was fulfilled. It was almost noon when his coffin was placed at the crematorium. His was the last service of the day. After that, the facility closed for five days for the new year celebrations.
On the morning of February 15, we collected his ashes from Prestavest, and his urn was interned besides mother's at the Buddhist temple, Wat Phodhiyaran, in Assam Kumbang. Also laid to rest at the same place were our grandparents Chang Ah Kee and Wong Sui Cheng, uncle Chang Keng San, granduncle Chan Ting Yang and his wives, great granduncle Chan Kau Sing, granduncle Yin Kau, and uncle Ah Choon and his wife.
Auntie Loke, father's last surving sister at
Wat Phodhiyaran, in Assam Kumbang
Our father Chung Chow will be best remembered for his total commitment and love for his family as a filial son, a caring brother, a devoted husband, and a loving father.
He took great care of his parents, brought up his siblings, and provided for his wife and children all by himself. He was a very hard-working man with very simple needs. He was also a very pleasant, tolerant and considerate man. He was very special to us - someone whom we loved very much, admired fondly, and felt very proud of.
Next: 46. The Final Legacy »
The next day, his condition did not improved. We knew how dearly he wanted to be with mother again, and we decided not to delay his departure from this world no matter how much we would miss him. No sooner had Suit Meng signed the consent forms to discontinue the support system, and stepped into the room, father took a deep breath and slowly released it, sort of like a sigh of relief as if to signal his approval, and breathed his last breath.
He was very calm and peaceful even at the very last moment, and had on a happy and serene face when he passed away at exactly 10.30 p.m. on February 10, 2002 - the night before the eve of Chinese New Year. He was 87. He used to jokingly tell us, patting his heart, that this "old engine is worn out and will give way one day", and it did as the doctor reported his death as cardiac failure.
As the hospital attendant wheeled our late father's body to the mortuary, three of his grandsons - Tony, Joseph and Chin Leon - and myself followed close behind like guards of honour. We wanted to make sure that his body was sent to the morgue safely.
The next morning, the eve of Chinese New Year, father's coffin was taken to the Prestavest Memorial Park near Taman Semerak in Pokok Assam. Father had always wanted a quiet affair with only close relatives and friends in attendance, and his wish was fulfilled. It was almost noon when his coffin was placed at the crematorium. His was the last service of the day. After that, the facility closed for five days for the new year celebrations.
On the morning of February 15, we collected his ashes from Prestavest, and his urn was interned besides mother's at the Buddhist temple, Wat Phodhiyaran, in Assam Kumbang. Also laid to rest at the same place were our grandparents Chang Ah Kee and Wong Sui Cheng, uncle Chang Keng San, granduncle Chan Ting Yang and his wives, great granduncle Chan Kau Sing, granduncle Yin Kau, and uncle Ah Choon and his wife.
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Our father Chung Chow will be best remembered for his total commitment and love for his family as a filial son, a caring brother, a devoted husband, and a loving father.
He took great care of his parents, brought up his siblings, and provided for his wife and children all by himself. He was a very hard-working man with very simple needs. He was also a very pleasant, tolerant and considerate man. He was very special to us - someone whom we loved very much, admired fondly, and felt very proud of.
Next: 46. The Final Legacy »
44. MI Home
During the later half of 2001, his health began to deteriorate. His legs were failing him and he had difficulties walking around and needed a wheel-chair. It was father's decision to stay at the MI Home, a private old folks cum nursing home in Aulong New Village. He wanted it that way as there would be attendants around the clock to take care of his needs. The attendants were very helpful and attentive, and he was happy there.
He had a lot of visitors - his own children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, in-laws, relatives and friends, and he never felt lonely. Everyone of us visited him on a regular basis. Even See Kun and Gigi made a special trip home from Maryland, U.S. in August 2001 to be with him for the last time.
Next: 45. Happy Reunion »
43. After Mother's Death
We were afraid that father would succumb to loneliness after mother had passed away. However, he was a very patient man and accepted that "these things just happened without reason". He would often say: "It is all fated." He was a very soft-spoken and pleasant man who never raised his voice to anyone. He was also very tolerant and considerate. Even when he was angry, he kept the frustrations to himself, and he seldom complain.
After mother's death, father moved in with brother Chew Tai at 172, Lorong 18, Taman Sri Kota, Taiping. However, when brother Chew Tai decided to sell his house and move to his in-law's house in Tupai, father moved in with me at Taman Lake View.
He was a very simple man with very simple needs. In the mornings, he would sit in the porch, listen to the birds sing, read the Chinese newspaper, and watch the neighbours go by. He preferred home cooked dishes. Three meals a day was his standard fare, and no supper. He usually eat one bowl of rice, sometimes a little more if he was hungry, and he never over-eat. He used to say: "eating to three-quarter full is better than a full tummy". In the evenings, he would watch some TV programmes, and his favourites were documentaries, and go to bed around 10.30 p.m.
Next: 44. MI Home »
02 February 2011
42. Demise Of A Beloved Mother
Almost a year later, fate would dealt us a devastating blow that snatched our beloved mother away from us.
It was Tuesday, August 18, 1998. As usual, mother would do her morning marketing at the mini-market behind the house. On that day, she had bought some fresh kueh-teow and vegetables to cook lunch. After that, she and father watched their favourite Chinese drama show on TV.
When the show was over, mother felt hot and sweaty and went to take a bath. She was in the bathroom for quite some time, so father called out to her. But, there was no reply. He then tried frantically to open the door but it would not budged. He telephoned brother Chew Tai who came over as quickly as he could. Together they forced open the door. Mother was unconscious and was sitting on the bathroom floor with her back to the door.
Chew Tai called for an ambulance and it arrived a short while later to ferry mother to the hospital where she was warded at the Intensive Care Unit or ICU.
I just arrived home from work that day when I received a call from brother Chew Tai informing me about mother's condition. I went immediately to the hospital and saw several nurses moving in and out of an enclosed unit at the ICU. They had drawn the shades around her bed.
I then realized it was a very serious case. The doctor told me that she suffered a stroke on the back of her head, and they wanted to send her to the Ipoh general hospital for urgent treatment. However, a short while later, one of the nurses waved to the doctor to come and attend to mother. Though her bed was enclosed by the shades, I could see and hear some frantic and noisy activity going on around her. Then, everything became quiet and calm. The doctor came out and told me that mother had succumbed to a stroke and there was massive hemorrhage in her brain.
Mother Lee Mooi died quickly and without pain at 7.50 p.m. She was 75. At that very moment of her death, sisters Sweed Cheng and Suit Meng, who were in PJ, recalled that they felt mother calling out to them. They knew something had happened to her.
When I told father the tragic news, he was overcame with grief. He kept repeating to himself: "You are well this morning. Now, you are gone. Why do this thing happened?". There were tears in his eyes. After a few minutes, he regained his composure, stood up and bravely said: "These things happened without reason. It is all fated".
We did not expect our mother to die so suddenly as she seemed well and healthy. She had not complained of any serious sickness except for her aching joints and legs. We didn't have a chance even to say goodbye. Her demise left such a huge void in the family that we felt lost without her. The nest that she had created all these years suddenly became so empty and cold. The family reunions and gatherings that followed were never the same without her presence. I still recall her caring for us when we were young, and how she struggled to clothe and feed us. She was very thrifty and sacrificed a lot of her own needs so that we could have ours first. She had worked very hard and had devoted her entire life to her loved ones.
Her unreserved love and affection for us made her one of the best mother we could ever wish for. She was also very friendly and kind, and her many friends is a testimony of that.
I can recalled vividly a very touching incident that happened one evening in front of our house in Tupai Road. It was raining heavily, and a young hawker selling wantan-mee managed to take shelter in the 5-foot way of our house. He was drenched and shivered in the cold. Without much thought, mother quickly went into the house, took out one of our tee-shirts and gave it to the young man. It was a spontaneous gesture and a kindly act of concern a mother would do for her children or any young ones.
Her funeral was held on the August 22, 1998. It was just as grand as our grandmother's funeral that happened 43 years ago. Many of our relatives, friends, colleagues and those who knew her came to pay their last respect. Her funeral rites were performed by a group of Taoist priests led by a clansman, Chang Soo Har who is the grandson of a Taoist priest popularly known as "Red Nose" and a colleague of our grandfather.
Our mother's body was cremated at the now defunct Buddhist crematorium at Taman Panglima in Assam Kumbang. Her ashes were then interned at the Wat Phodhiyaran or Buddhist temple's columbarium in Assam Kumbang. One very interesting coincidence that happened during her funeral was that the total expenses incurred almost equal to the total contributions and donations received. She had taken care that her death would not be a burden to us.
Next: 43. After Mother's Death »
41. HouseTaken Away
One unexpected event that took place in 1996 was when our parents were informed to vacate the house at 15 Tupai Road by the new owner, Mr. Leong Kum Weng. The previous owner, Mr. Manecksha, had told our parents that they could stay in the house as long as they like as he had no intention of selling it. However, his son who inherited this property when his father died, sold it without informing our parents. Our parents had no choice but to vacate the house which they had lived for almost 54 years. They received some compensation from the new owner before they finally left the house in December of 1996.
In the beginning, our parents stayed at Chew Kiat's home in Bukit Mertajam. But, they dearly missed all their old friends, the food and the environment they had been so used to that they decided to move back to Taiping. In September 1997, they returned to Taiping where they had rented a single-storey terrace house at 237, Lorong 1, Taman Bersatu Kampung Boyan.
Though they stayed by themselves, we would visit them regularly and take them out for meals, shopping, visiting friends and relatives etc. Those of us who lived out-station would come back very often to be with them. Even father's younger sister, auntie Sui Wan and her husband came to pay them a visit. That was the last time we saw auntie Sui Wan. She passed away on December 27, 1999.
While in Kampung Boyan, our mother would often asked me to take her house hunting as it was her greatest desire to have a house of her own. We surveyed many of the new as well as the old housing schemes in and around Taiping but could not find one that suits her. This dream of hers was suddenly shattered in the following year.
Next: 42. Demise Of A Beloved Mother »
In the beginning, our parents stayed at Chew Kiat's home in Bukit Mertajam. But, they dearly missed all their old friends, the food and the environment they had been so used to that they decided to move back to Taiping. In September 1997, they returned to Taiping where they had rented a single-storey terrace house at 237, Lorong 1, Taman Bersatu Kampung Boyan.
Though they stayed by themselves, we would visit them regularly and take them out for meals, shopping, visiting friends and relatives etc. Those of us who lived out-station would come back very often to be with them. Even father's younger sister, auntie Sui Wan and her husband came to pay them a visit. That was the last time we saw auntie Sui Wan. She passed away on December 27, 1999.
While in Kampung Boyan, our mother would often asked me to take her house hunting as it was her greatest desire to have a house of her own. We surveyed many of the new as well as the old housing schemes in and around Taiping but could not find one that suits her. This dream of hers was suddenly shattered in the following year.
Next: 42. Demise Of A Beloved Mother »
40. "Old Men Ailment"
Three years went by before father had another health problem that was common among men of his age - an enlarged prostate that had blocked the urethra that drains the urine from the bladder, and caused great discomfort and pain during urination. I took him to the Taiping hospital and the doctor inserted a catheter through his penis and into his bladder to drain urine into a plastic bag which he had to carry along wherever he went.
However, this equipment had to be replaced every week for hygienic reasons. This weekly procedure, sometimes, at the out-patient clinic, and sometimes at the emergency unit, was a big hassle and painful process for father as the hospital assistants were rough and uncaring. The doctors were just as inconsiderate and they told father that he would have to live with the contraption for the rest of his life. Without much thought, they referred him to a specialist at the General Hospital in Kuala Lumpur.
We went there with high hopes. But, for all the pain and discomfort that father had to endure for this trip, the specialist told father that he was too old and weak to survive the operation. He told father to get fit first before coming back to see him again.
After all these frustrations and uncaring attitudes we received from the very people who pledged to serve and heal the sick and helpless, we decided to send father to the Ipoh Specialist Hospital at Jalan Raja DiHilir in Ipoh.
It was in the morning when we consulted Dr. Ding, the resident urologist, who convinced us that our father's problem could be easily treated with a simple, safe, and common surgical procedure.
That very evening, the specialist did a trans-urethral resection of the prostate by inserting a scope through the penis and removing the prostate piece by piece. Father was given local anesthesia and was fully awake throughout the 3-hour operation, and he described the sensation like being bitten by ants.
After two nights of rest and recuperation at the hospital, father returned home cured of his problem. In appreciation, everyone of us contributed in our own ways, but Suit Meng and Sweed Lean shouldered the major portions of the costs incurred. After this episode, father was well and healthy again until the second half of 2001 when his overall health began to falter.
Next: 41. House Taken Away »
However, this equipment had to be replaced every week for hygienic reasons. This weekly procedure, sometimes, at the out-patient clinic, and sometimes at the emergency unit, was a big hassle and painful process for father as the hospital assistants were rough and uncaring. The doctors were just as inconsiderate and they told father that he would have to live with the contraption for the rest of his life. Without much thought, they referred him to a specialist at the General Hospital in Kuala Lumpur.
We went there with high hopes. But, for all the pain and discomfort that father had to endure for this trip, the specialist told father that he was too old and weak to survive the operation. He told father to get fit first before coming back to see him again.
After all these frustrations and uncaring attitudes we received from the very people who pledged to serve and heal the sick and helpless, we decided to send father to the Ipoh Specialist Hospital at Jalan Raja DiHilir in Ipoh.
It was in the morning when we consulted Dr. Ding, the resident urologist, who convinced us that our father's problem could be easily treated with a simple, safe, and common surgical procedure.
That very evening, the specialist did a trans-urethral resection of the prostate by inserting a scope through the penis and removing the prostate piece by piece. Father was given local anesthesia and was fully awake throughout the 3-hour operation, and he described the sensation like being bitten by ants.
After two nights of rest and recuperation at the hospital, father returned home cured of his problem. In appreciation, everyone of us contributed in our own ways, but Suit Meng and Sweed Lean shouldered the major portions of the costs incurred. After this episode, father was well and healthy again until the second half of 2001 when his overall health began to falter.
Next: 41. House Taken Away »
39. Brush With Death
In 1993, father Chung Chow was very ill for some time. He had lost weight considerably. He was very thin and weak, and his cheeks were sunken. Even his skin had lost it's light brown glow and had turned to a dull, darkish complexion. The many private doctors he had consulted told him that it was just a case of "old people illness" - a general term commonly used to describe the various ailments associated with old age. They just gave him some medication to ease his pains.
Fortunately, he met a young Dr. Lee who is no stranger to him as he is the son of the charcoal shop proprietors who lived down the road. His diagnosis was more thorough and he suspected that father could be suffering from a lung infection and advised him to have a complete check-up and x-ray at the hospital.
Initially, our father was quite reluctant to do what the good doctor advised. He had never experienced any serious ailments before and the thought of staying in a hospital frightens him. He felt it was too troublesome, not for himself, but for others who would have to look after him. He said it would make no difference if he gets well or not for he was almost 78, and about time he join his ancestors. However, the following incident changed his mind.
One afternoon, while father was dozing in his easy chair in the hall, he dreamed that an old scholarly man came up to him and gave him a message. He had long flowing white hair and beard trailing behind him as he appeared just outside the doorway. He was riding on a big white horse and accompanied by a troop of soldiers. They were dressed in traditional clothes of the Ming Dynasty. He told father in a loud voice that his time was not up yet and that he must go the hospital to be cured.
Father awoke and related this incident to mother who was very much relieved and hopeful. Heeding the old man's advice, they went to the hospital the next day for a check-up and more tests. The doctors confirmed that father had contracted tuberculosis, and the hospital has all the necessary drugs to treat him.
The treatment was a long and painful process and mother had to accompany him to the hospital every day to receive his medication. This procedure lasted for more than a month. Fortunately, they had arranged for a taxi to ferry them to and fro the hospital. The taxi driver was a fellow clansman and he diligently fulfilled his duty without fail each day.
Eventually father recovered from his illness and mother nursed him back to health again with her tender loving care and devotion.
Next: 40. "Old Men Ailment" »
Fortunately, he met a young Dr. Lee who is no stranger to him as he is the son of the charcoal shop proprietors who lived down the road. His diagnosis was more thorough and he suspected that father could be suffering from a lung infection and advised him to have a complete check-up and x-ray at the hospital.
Initially, our father was quite reluctant to do what the good doctor advised. He had never experienced any serious ailments before and the thought of staying in a hospital frightens him. He felt it was too troublesome, not for himself, but for others who would have to look after him. He said it would make no difference if he gets well or not for he was almost 78, and about time he join his ancestors. However, the following incident changed his mind.
One afternoon, while father was dozing in his easy chair in the hall, he dreamed that an old scholarly man came up to him and gave him a message. He had long flowing white hair and beard trailing behind him as he appeared just outside the doorway. He was riding on a big white horse and accompanied by a troop of soldiers. They were dressed in traditional clothes of the Ming Dynasty. He told father in a loud voice that his time was not up yet and that he must go the hospital to be cured.
Father awoke and related this incident to mother who was very much relieved and hopeful. Heeding the old man's advice, they went to the hospital the next day for a check-up and more tests. The doctors confirmed that father had contracted tuberculosis, and the hospital has all the necessary drugs to treat him.
The treatment was a long and painful process and mother had to accompany him to the hospital every day to receive his medication. This procedure lasted for more than a month. Fortunately, they had arranged for a taxi to ferry them to and fro the hospital. The taxi driver was a fellow clansman and he diligently fulfilled his duty without fail each day.
Eventually father recovered from his illness and mother nursed him back to health again with her tender loving care and devotion.
Next: 40. "Old Men Ailment" »
38. Visit To Homeland
One of our father's biggest accomplishment was when he took our mother to visit his homeland in China which he left behind more than 49 years ago. In 1976, with his savings from his Employee Provident Fund (EPF), father had enough money to take our mother to his ancestral village in Qing Yuan.
They flew by plane to Hong Kong and then took the ferry across to Quangzhou, and then to the Chan Village in Qin Xin. They brought along some gifts such as a bicycle which they bought in Hong Kong, clothings, watches, etc. for his cousins and their families. Back then, life in Qing Yuan was still difficult though they have enough to go by.
Lee Mooi and Chung Chow
Lee Mooi and Chung Chow
Chung Chow and Lee Mooi with relatives
A family reunion
Relatives in China
A wedding
I remembered the many occasions when father sent money home through couriers or clansmen who frequently traveled between Taiping and Quangzhou. All these were done on trust and good faith.
While it was a very sentimental journey home for our father, our mother found the weather in Qing Yuan too cold and windy.
Next: 39. Brush With Death »
They flew by plane to Hong Kong and then took the ferry across to Quangzhou, and then to the Chan Village in Qin Xin. They brought along some gifts such as a bicycle which they bought in Hong Kong, clothings, watches, etc. for his cousins and their families. Back then, life in Qing Yuan was still difficult though they have enough to go by.
Relatives in Qing Yuan
While it was a very sentimental journey home for our father, our mother found the weather in Qing Yuan too cold and windy.
Visit to Malaysia by relatives from China. Sweed Cheng and Auntie Loke in front row.
A Chinese ink brush painting from China
Next: 39. Brush With Death »
37. Leaving The Nest
By the end of the 60s and early 70s, the younger batch of siblings had finished secondary school. Chew Hong left to join brother Chew Pheng in Kuala Lumpur while Chew Kiat went to Singapore to work for a short while with uncle Lee Yong Chan before returning to work in Kamunting and later on to Butterworth. Suit Meng went over-seas to the United Kingdom to work-cum-train as a registered nurse. After her training, she returned to Kuala Lumpur. In 1975, See Kun too went to KL to work. The last of the sibling, Sweed Lean, also landed up in KL with her three sisters in 1980.
In the mid-60s, our parents stopped making the Taoist paper paraphernalia and images. By then, many of these items are mass-produced, cheap and easily available in the market. The work area in the hall was then replaced by two sets of mahjong tables. Mahjong games were very popular during those days and playing sessions usually would begin in the afternoons and very often would end late at night. It was here that we learned how to play mahjong, and our mother patiently taught us how to count the score and the many strategies to win the game. However, the only time we to get to play mahjong was during Chinese New Year reunion gatherings when we would pit our skills and luck against each other.
Game of Mahjong
The mahjong sessions eventually fizzled out in the mid-80s, and the hall, including the corridor that leads to the back of the house, was turned into parking spaces for motorbikes that belonged to employees of the Berkat Supermarket across the road. They parked their motorbikes on a monthly rental basis. Mother would handle the negotiations and the money collected was sufficient to pay for the house rent and utilities bills. The rooms upstairs were left empty, and our parents lived in the big house all by themselves until December 1996.
Next: 38. Visit To Homeland »
In the mid-60s, our parents stopped making the Taoist paper paraphernalia and images. By then, many of these items are mass-produced, cheap and easily available in the market. The work area in the hall was then replaced by two sets of mahjong tables. Mahjong games were very popular during those days and playing sessions usually would begin in the afternoons and very often would end late at night. It was here that we learned how to play mahjong, and our mother patiently taught us how to count the score and the many strategies to win the game. However, the only time we to get to play mahjong was during Chinese New Year reunion gatherings when we would pit our skills and luck against each other.
The mahjong sessions eventually fizzled out in the mid-80s, and the hall, including the corridor that leads to the back of the house, was turned into parking spaces for motorbikes that belonged to employees of the Berkat Supermarket across the road. They parked their motorbikes on a monthly rental basis. Mother would handle the negotiations and the money collected was sufficient to pay for the house rent and utilities bills. The rooms upstairs were left empty, and our parents lived in the big house all by themselves until December 1996.
Next: 38. Visit To Homeland »
36. Growing Up and Having Fun
Our parents loved and cared for us very much, and they made sure we were happy and have fun while we were growing up. The Chinese New Year is the most important and joyous occasion of the year. Our parents usually gave us new clothes, new shoes, and ang-pows to celebrate the occasion.
On the second day of new year, we would go and visit our relatives and friends. Mother had many relatives and friends in Aulong, and we would visit one house after the other, stuffed ourselves with food and drinks, and collected the little red packets that contained money. Though each packet contained only a few cents, usually 10 or 20 cents, they added up to quite a lot of money in those days. Maternal grandma Lee usually gave 4 cents in her ang-pows but the significance was not in the amount of money it contained but rather it was a symbol of celebration and good fortune which shw wanted to share with her loved ones.
We would then visit our granduncle Chan and his family in Kamunting. Grand-auntie Chan's Chinese New Year delicacies, peanut cookies, and crispy love-letters or kueh kapit were the best. During the school holidays, some of us would spend a few days with them and enjoyed the country-side. We would run around bare-footed, climb trees, play in the sand dunes of the former tin-mines, fish for Tilapias in the mining ponds, catch fighting-fish in the swamps etc. We also get to enjoy grand-auntie's tasty nyonya curry prawns, sambal belacan, and acar or spicy mixed vegetable pickles. She would cook rice using a saw-dust stove which was quite popular then as there were many saw-mills in this area.
Sometimes we would stay over at our maternal grandparents' home in Aulong where we get to experience a farm environment, and Hakka food especially grandma's delicious glutinous rice dumplings that were shaped like little pillows.
Going on out-station trip was another enjoyable experience our parents gave us. During the school holidays, father would arrange a car from his friends to take us for a day trip to Ipoh or Penang. I recalled visiting the Japanese Garden and Sam Poh caves in Ipoh, and the Kek Lok Si Temple in Penang. We visited mother's elder sister in Kampar. We also went to many other places such as Sungai Siput, Lenggung, and even Sungai Petani in Kedah to visit our relatives and friends.
Chung Chow and Friends
Chung Chow at Air Itam, Penang
While our father had a very good memory for telephone numbers, our mother had a very extraordinary talent for remembering places she had visited. She could direct you to the same spot even though it had been years since she last visited it.
Mother Lee Mooi loved to travel and she would visit us and the children as often as possible whether it be in Kuala Lumpur, Petaling Jaya, Teluk Intan, Bukit Mertajam, Butterworth or Terengganu. She also loved to go to Singapore to visit grand-auntie Chan and uncle Lee and family.
Lee Family in Singapore
In November 1992, uncle and auntie Loke took our mother for a holiday in Sydney, Australia and also attended auntie's daughter's wedding. In May 1994, she got to go on a boat cruise sponsored by Anchor Beer. It was a free trip which I won in a competition. It sailed up and down the Straits of Malacca for two nights and back to Port Klang. It was fun with lots of food, entertainment and also casino. Sweed Lean and family took her on a holiday trip to the United States in June 1997 and they also visited See Kun and Gigi in Maryland.
Chung Chow and Lee Mooi
Holiday
There was also one special trip that I get to go with father and his friends. It was to shoot big fruit bats known as flying-foxes. These bats fly out from their hiding places in the evening and cover the skies in the hundreds in their search for food in the fruit orchards. The hunters would shoot them down with their short-guns and as the bats fall to the ground, I would hold them by the wings and knock them dead with the back of a heavy knife. I learned how to skin them and to cook delicious flying-fox porridge.
During the weekends, our father would take us for matinee shows either at the Lido or Cathay cinemas. We watched all kinds of shows such as western shows especially cowboys and Tarzan, Hindi shows, Malay shows etc. The tickets cost less than half the normal fare, the cheapest costing about 25 cents, and as we were small children then, two of us could get into the cinema with one ticket.
Our mother Lee Mooi preferred Chinese movies which were normally screened at the Carlton and Rex cinemas and sometimes at the Lido cinema. She would take us along to watch many of her favourites especially Shaw Brothers movies starring Lin Dai, Ivy Ling Po etc. The ones we liked most were Wong Fei Hung and kung-fu shows. We also went to the smaller cinemas such as the Sun cinema and the open-air Loh Thean cinema located inside the Coronation Park.
At the Loh Thean cinema, we pay only 10 cents to sit on the cement floor and watch the show projected across a big wooden screen. If it rains, we would open our umbrellas and continue to watch the show. This park was a very popular entertainment centre at that time. It also had children games and rides as well as joget for the adults. The men would get tickets at a counter. As the music start to play they would approach a group of pretty ladies seated beside the band. The ladies who were given the tickets would follow the men to the dance floor and they would dance until the music stop. The ladies would then return to their seats. It was great fun watching the antics of some of the dancers.
Chinese Opera
Chinese Opera
Mother Lee Mooi also loved to watch Chinese opera shows performed on make-shift stages erected besides the temples. These shows were usually held during religious festivals. The ones held at the Kuan Yin Temple beside Kwangtung Association were her favourites. She would go with her friends and they would carry wooden stools along to sit on and umbrellas to shelter from the sun and rain. Sometimes we tagged along and she would explain the story to us. The first show is always performed without an audience, and she would tell us it was meant for the deities and spirits. The performances would last for several days depending on the story that was being told.
We did not have the telephone until the very late 60s. I recall the many occasions when father or mother had to rush over next door or across the road to our neighbours' phones to answer calls. Sister Sweed Cheng had started working after returning from the UK, and brothers Chu Tai and Chew Pheng and myself had also started our own careers. It was out of necessity rather than luxury that a telephone was installed to help us get in touch with one another.
Our parents did not have a TV set until the mid-70s though RTM 2 was established in 1969. It was a small 14-inch, black-and-white set which became the main source of entertainment for our parents. When TV3 was established in 1983, it was replaced with a bigger colour TV set provided by brother Chew Kiat.
Next: 37. Leaving The Nest »
On the second day of new year, we would go and visit our relatives and friends. Mother had many relatives and friends in Aulong, and we would visit one house after the other, stuffed ourselves with food and drinks, and collected the little red packets that contained money. Though each packet contained only a few cents, usually 10 or 20 cents, they added up to quite a lot of money in those days. Maternal grandma Lee usually gave 4 cents in her ang-pows but the significance was not in the amount of money it contained but rather it was a symbol of celebration and good fortune which shw wanted to share with her loved ones.
We would then visit our granduncle Chan and his family in Kamunting. Grand-auntie Chan's Chinese New Year delicacies, peanut cookies, and crispy love-letters or kueh kapit were the best. During the school holidays, some of us would spend a few days with them and enjoyed the country-side. We would run around bare-footed, climb trees, play in the sand dunes of the former tin-mines, fish for Tilapias in the mining ponds, catch fighting-fish in the swamps etc. We also get to enjoy grand-auntie's tasty nyonya curry prawns, sambal belacan, and acar or spicy mixed vegetable pickles. She would cook rice using a saw-dust stove which was quite popular then as there were many saw-mills in this area.
Sometimes we would stay over at our maternal grandparents' home in Aulong where we get to experience a farm environment, and Hakka food especially grandma's delicious glutinous rice dumplings that were shaped like little pillows.
Going on out-station trip was another enjoyable experience our parents gave us. During the school holidays, father would arrange a car from his friends to take us for a day trip to Ipoh or Penang. I recalled visiting the Japanese Garden and Sam Poh caves in Ipoh, and the Kek Lok Si Temple in Penang. We visited mother's elder sister in Kampar. We also went to many other places such as Sungai Siput, Lenggung, and even Sungai Petani in Kedah to visit our relatives and friends.
While our father had a very good memory for telephone numbers, our mother had a very extraordinary talent for remembering places she had visited. She could direct you to the same spot even though it had been years since she last visited it.
Mother Lee Mooi loved to travel and she would visit us and the children as often as possible whether it be in Kuala Lumpur, Petaling Jaya, Teluk Intan, Bukit Mertajam, Butterworth or Terengganu. She also loved to go to Singapore to visit grand-auntie Chan and uncle Lee and family.
In November 1992, uncle and auntie Loke took our mother for a holiday in Sydney, Australia and also attended auntie's daughter's wedding. In May 1994, she got to go on a boat cruise sponsored by Anchor Beer. It was a free trip which I won in a competition. It sailed up and down the Straits of Malacca for two nights and back to Port Klang. It was fun with lots of food, entertainment and also casino. Sweed Lean and family took her on a holiday trip to the United States in June 1997 and they also visited See Kun and Gigi in Maryland.
There was also one special trip that I get to go with father and his friends. It was to shoot big fruit bats known as flying-foxes. These bats fly out from their hiding places in the evening and cover the skies in the hundreds in their search for food in the fruit orchards. The hunters would shoot them down with their short-guns and as the bats fall to the ground, I would hold them by the wings and knock them dead with the back of a heavy knife. I learned how to skin them and to cook delicious flying-fox porridge.
During the weekends, our father would take us for matinee shows either at the Lido or Cathay cinemas. We watched all kinds of shows such as western shows especially cowboys and Tarzan, Hindi shows, Malay shows etc. The tickets cost less than half the normal fare, the cheapest costing about 25 cents, and as we were small children then, two of us could get into the cinema with one ticket.
Our mother Lee Mooi preferred Chinese movies which were normally screened at the Carlton and Rex cinemas and sometimes at the Lido cinema. She would take us along to watch many of her favourites especially Shaw Brothers movies starring Lin Dai, Ivy Ling Po etc. The ones we liked most were Wong Fei Hung and kung-fu shows. We also went to the smaller cinemas such as the Sun cinema and the open-air Loh Thean cinema located inside the Coronation Park.
At the Loh Thean cinema, we pay only 10 cents to sit on the cement floor and watch the show projected across a big wooden screen. If it rains, we would open our umbrellas and continue to watch the show. This park was a very popular entertainment centre at that time. It also had children games and rides as well as joget for the adults. The men would get tickets at a counter. As the music start to play they would approach a group of pretty ladies seated beside the band. The ladies who were given the tickets would follow the men to the dance floor and they would dance until the music stop. The ladies would then return to their seats. It was great fun watching the antics of some of the dancers.
Mother Lee Mooi also loved to watch Chinese opera shows performed on make-shift stages erected besides the temples. These shows were usually held during religious festivals. The ones held at the Kuan Yin Temple beside Kwangtung Association were her favourites. She would go with her friends and they would carry wooden stools along to sit on and umbrellas to shelter from the sun and rain. Sometimes we tagged along and she would explain the story to us. The first show is always performed without an audience, and she would tell us it was meant for the deities and spirits. The performances would last for several days depending on the story that was being told.
We did not have the telephone until the very late 60s. I recall the many occasions when father or mother had to rush over next door or across the road to our neighbours' phones to answer calls. Sister Sweed Cheng had started working after returning from the UK, and brothers Chu Tai and Chew Pheng and myself had also started our own careers. It was out of necessity rather than luxury that a telephone was installed to help us get in touch with one another.
Our parents did not have a TV set until the mid-70s though RTM 2 was established in 1969. It was a small 14-inch, black-and-white set which became the main source of entertainment for our parents. When TV3 was established in 1983, it was replaced with a bigger colour TV set provided by brother Chew Kiat.
Next: 37. Leaving The Nest »
35. Tightening Our Belts
We must not forget too that there were times when we really had to tighten our belts especially during the 50s and early 60s when we were growing up. Besides providing for our basic needs, our parents made sure everyone of us had a good secondary school education. We admired how our parents had sacrificed their own needs for it was not easy putting us through school on father's small income.
We are very fortunate for we have enough food to eat though at times it was just rice and a can of baked beans, or sardines, or mackerel and black beans, or fermented bean curds to feed the whole family.
Our parents were very thrifty and somehow they managed to care for us through those difficult years with their sheer determination and sacrifices. It was a blessing for we seldom see them quarrel, and the few times they did were usually about money or rather the lack of it, and what priorities to handle with the small amount of money they had.
There were a lot of expenses such as school uniforms, school fees, exam fees, books, shoes, stationery etc. They even gave us some pocket money to buy food during school recess so that we wouldn't go hungry. I recalled getting 10 cents while I was in primary school and that would buy me a cold glass of rose-flavoured drink and a kueh golok (fried mashed banana and flour) which was almost as big as a tennis ball.
The handling down of old uniforms, books and shoes from the older sibling to the next younger one was another tradition that helped cut costs. Mother taught us to be responsible for our own things by insisting we washed our own canvas shoes and undergarments. They showed great interest in our school work and progress and also get to know all our friends. They made sure we do not mixed with the wrong crowd.
Though father had only some formal education, he made sure that we do our homework and study every evening. We have to study on our own as private tuition was very costly. He was not a very strict disciplinarian, and he seldom uses the cane as we do not give him any reason to so. But he was firm and occasionally uses the cane or the ruler to knock our knuckles to punish us for misdeeds or unfavourable report cards.
Next: 36.Growing Up and Having Fun »
We are very fortunate for we have enough food to eat though at times it was just rice and a can of baked beans, or sardines, or mackerel and black beans, or fermented bean curds to feed the whole family.
Our parents were very thrifty and somehow they managed to care for us through those difficult years with their sheer determination and sacrifices. It was a blessing for we seldom see them quarrel, and the few times they did were usually about money or rather the lack of it, and what priorities to handle with the small amount of money they had.
There were a lot of expenses such as school uniforms, school fees, exam fees, books, shoes, stationery etc. They even gave us some pocket money to buy food during school recess so that we wouldn't go hungry. I recalled getting 10 cents while I was in primary school and that would buy me a cold glass of rose-flavoured drink and a kueh golok (fried mashed banana and flour) which was almost as big as a tennis ball.
The handling down of old uniforms, books and shoes from the older sibling to the next younger one was another tradition that helped cut costs. Mother taught us to be responsible for our own things by insisting we washed our own canvas shoes and undergarments. They showed great interest in our school work and progress and also get to know all our friends. They made sure we do not mixed with the wrong crowd.
Though father had only some formal education, he made sure that we do our homework and study every evening. We have to study on our own as private tuition was very costly. He was not a very strict disciplinarian, and he seldom uses the cane as we do not give him any reason to so. But he was firm and occasionally uses the cane or the ruler to knock our knuckles to punish us for misdeeds or unfavourable report cards.
Next: 36.Growing Up and Having Fun »
34. Growing Up and Responsibilities
While we were growing up, everyone of us have to help our mother do some of the chores in the kitchen such as boiling water to fill up the hot-water canisters, and prepare fresh Chinese tea. We learned how to cook rice using the charcoal stove which was later replaced by the electric rice-cooker. We took turns performing these chores, starting with the eldest sibling who would hand over the duties to the next sibling as soon as he or she was big enough. Besides helping our mother in the kitchen, we also have to sweep the floor every morning, and to light the joss-sticks for worshiping the ancestors and deities.
During the week-ends and school holidays, some of us we would follow mother to the market and she would teach us how to choose the best vegetables, fish, and poultry, and how to bargain and not get cheated. In the kitchen, she would patiently show us how to clean and prepare the vegetables, fish or poultry, and other ingredients for cooking the various dishes and soup.
Mother Lee Mooi Cooking
Mother Lee Mooi Cooking
Mother was an excellent cook and a good teacher. Some of our favourites were her vegetarian dish, yam and pork slices, and chicken and potato soup. Our father would show off his cooking skills by preparing his tasty Hainanese chicken rice. He showed us the secret on how to get that smooth and tender chicken skin and delicious meat. He insisted that the family should eat together as often as possible as it nurtures strong family bonds and cohesiveness.
During the festivals such as the Chinese New Year, Cheng Meng, Lantern and Mooncake festival etc., the kitchen would be a buzzed with activities and everyone doing their part. We had lots of fun time in the kitchen and also lots of delicious home-cooked food to eat during these occasions. Sometimes we have leftover food like roasted pork and chicken, and mother would re-cook these with some black sauce and sugar, so that they could be kept longer as we do not have a refrigerator in those days.
Reunion Dinner
Enjoying delicious durian
Next: 35. Tightening Our Belts »
During the week-ends and school holidays, some of us we would follow mother to the market and she would teach us how to choose the best vegetables, fish, and poultry, and how to bargain and not get cheated. In the kitchen, she would patiently show us how to clean and prepare the vegetables, fish or poultry, and other ingredients for cooking the various dishes and soup.
Mother was an excellent cook and a good teacher. Some of our favourites were her vegetarian dish, yam and pork slices, and chicken and potato soup. Our father would show off his cooking skills by preparing his tasty Hainanese chicken rice. He showed us the secret on how to get that smooth and tender chicken skin and delicious meat. He insisted that the family should eat together as often as possible as it nurtures strong family bonds and cohesiveness.
During the festivals such as the Chinese New Year, Cheng Meng, Lantern and Mooncake festival etc., the kitchen would be a buzzed with activities and everyone doing their part. We had lots of fun time in the kitchen and also lots of delicious home-cooked food to eat during these occasions. Sometimes we have leftover food like roasted pork and chicken, and mother would re-cook these with some black sauce and sugar, so that they could be kept longer as we do not have a refrigerator in those days.
Next: 35. Tightening Our Belts »
31 January 2011
33. Home Sweet Home At 15 Tupai Road
The most memorable and tangible object during our growing years would be the house at 15 Tupai Road located behind the old clock tower. It was the second house from the left of a row of two-storey buildings of bricks and lime which were built during the 1930s. There were no cement or concrete then. The upper level had wooden floors with high walls and tiled roofs.
The house belonged to a Mr. Manecksha, a rich chettiar or money-lender, who owned several houses in town. As one enters the house through the two large wooden doors into the hall, one would come face-to-face with the worship altar where the ancestral tablet, Taoist deities and Mazu statue, were placed. Mazu was the patron goddess of sailors, and mother told me that the Mazu statue belonged to grand-uncle Ying Kau. Beneath the altar was the deity known as 'The God of Earth'.
Behind the wooden panels were two rooms occupied by our grandparents and parents since the mid-40s. Our grandparents stayed in the front room while our parents occupied the back room. After our grandmother passed away in 1955, the partition separating the two rooms was dismantled to make one huge room. A big wooden platform was erected over the area of the back room. And this was our sleeping quarters during our younger days. The other side of the room stood a big iron-frame bed with brass fittings and a cotton-filled mattress where our parents used to sleep.
From the hall, a narrow corridor on the left side of the house leads to the back portion which comprised two small rooms and a kitchen. Uncle Ah Choon and his wife Tan Nai and family stayed in the last room. The other room was occupied by a couple with a young son. Years later, around the 80s, this room was turned into a dining area where we had our meals. On the right side of the rooms was a long open-air corridor that leads to the bathroom and the toilet and connects back to the kitchen.
Along this corridor, mother Lee Mooi would lovingly tend to her little garden consisting of several potted plants such as ixora, spider lilies, roses and dahlias etc. and two or three pots of orchid hanging on the low wall that separates our house from the neighbour's house.
There was a huge earthen jar filled with soil that contained an old Teja tree or Chinese pine tree that was planted by our grandfather Chan. The Teja tree is believed to ward off evil and brings good luck to the bearer. Friends and neighbours would come and request for sprigs of Teja leaves to be used in religious offerings and other customary rituals. No one is allowed to pluck the leaves with their bare fingers, as this is believed to cause the tree to die. Every day, our father Chung Chow would place used Chinese tea leaves from the teapot to the plant as fertilizer. He also insisted that we have a fresh pot of Chinese tea in the hall everyday. In the old days in China, a pot of tea would be placed near the doorway, and any visitor or traveler could partake in it to quench his thirst.
Beside the Teja tree and hiding among some bricks was an old tortoise. Mother Lee Mooi said that if it comes out into the open, it is a sure sign that rain would fall soon.
At the end of the corridor was the bathroom and the toilet. As Taiping is well-known as the wettest town in the country, it is not surprising to have the coolest and freshest water too. Even its taste is sweet, refreshing and invigorating, and one can drink it straight from the tap. It comes directly from the Larut Hills formerly known as Maxwell's Hills.
Beside the bathroom was the toilet. For those of you who are too young to know, the old toilet was equipped with a rubber bucket before it was replaced with the septic tank system in July 1983. In the old days, one should not go to the toilet in the early hours of the morning. A hand might suddenly appear from underneath and pull the bucket away from where one is squatting because the night-soil collectors will be on their rounds. Toilet paper was expensive. So we used pieces of old newspaper instead. We would crumbled them to lessen the harshness and sometimes we would wet them before we use them.
From the hall, a steep flight of wooden stairs leads to the first floor. As young children, we used to play in the stairway, running up and down the wooden steps, and causing dust and dirt to fall onto the bed of an old lady who once lived under the stairway. Many of us, at one time or another, accidentally fell down the stairs while playing on the steps. Luckily they were minor incidents and mother Lee Mooi used to tell us that we grew up taller and tougher after that.
The first floor of the house consisted of five rooms with an open kitchen at the back. Wooden panels separated the rooms. All the rooms were rented out to tenants with one family occupying one room. Father Chung Chow recalled that sometimes there were as many as 40 or more people living together under the same roof befitting the Chinese saying "the house with 72 tenants".
There were two big rooms with windows overlooking Tupai Road, and another room in the middle of the house that faced the stairs with a window over-looking the back open corridor.
I recalled that one of front big rooms was, at one time, occupied by a family of four who made kueh-teow and chee cheong fun in a noddles factory next to the Coronation Park. I used to play with their son who was about my age. On many occasions we would climb the factory roof and sit on the tiles and watch the open-air cinema situated beside the factory and separated by a high brick wall. One night, they quietly packed their bags and ran away from their creditors. Even our parents lost a few months of rental payment. They left behind an old bed, a broken-down cupboard, and some empty boxes.
I also recalled that the middle room was, at one time, occupied by an old Hokkien couple. Inside their room was a big iron-framed bed and next to it was an altar where a statue of a deity was placed. Big yellow curtains hung behind the statue as a backdrop. Sometimes, worshipers would come and pray to this deity. An interesting thing about this couple was that the fragile old man smoked opium which was illegal after the war. Every time he lights up his stuff, a sweet-smelling aroma would fill the whole house and onto the streets below. He was caught by the police on several occasions, but they let him off because of his age.
In front of the stairway was a narrow corridor that leads to two small rooms at the back of the house, one of which was occupied by a construction supervisor known as Uncle Hung, his wife and two daughters.
Mother Lee Mooi and sister Lut
One daughter was a seamstress who later became consort to a towkay of a big Chinese medical company in Penang. The other daughter married a tailor who had a shop along Eastern Road. They moved to the bigger front room when it became vacant and lived there for many years and became very closed friends with our parents.
The other small room was occupied by my godparents, Mr. Goh Cheng Siew and Madam Lim Wai Ying. My godmother passed away in 1977 when I was studying in the US. My godfather operated a coffee shop opposite the old bus station and he passed on in late 80's, mother Lee Mooi and I attended his funeral in his home-town Selama, Kedah. Among the siblings, only two of us have godparents - myself and brother Chew Hong.
The kitchen on the first floor resembled a big balcony with a solid railing overlooking the back lane below. One half of the kitchen was covered with galvanized iron roofing to provide shelter from the sun and rain. Beneath this makeshift roof were charcoal stoves where the tenants would cook their food. Long bamboo poles hung over the railing of the balcony. The poles were used to hang wet clothes put out to dry in the sun.
The most interesting place in the whole house would be the kitchen on the ground floor. It had only three walls with an open space facing the back door that leads out into a back lane. The deity known as The Kitchen God sat on an altar at one corner, and below it was a raised cement platform where we do our cooking. The walls and ceiling were covered with a thick layer of black soot accumulated through the years from the burning of firewood. Our mother used to buy big logs of Bakau wood from a woodcutter. He would then split the logs into smaller pieces with a long-handle axe that had a thick head. The wood was laid out to dry before it could be used. In the late 50s, firewood was replaced with charcoal.
Brother Chew Hong's godparents lived next door and they operated a coffee stall located on a piece of vacant land beside our house. Chew Hong's godfather had two wives, and the younger wife sold chicken noodle soup in the coffee stall. The coffee stall was later demolished in the early 60s, and a few years later, a block of three-storied building was built in its place. Chew Hong's godmother continued to sell her noodle soup in a small stall parked by the roadside outside her house. Her chicken noodle soup was our main breakfast before we go to school each day. Later on, she and her step-daughter moved to Kuala Lumpur and her stall was taken over by a woman popularly known as sister Ngoh. Her husband, Ah Bee, operated a push-cart coffee stall which was stationed beside her noodle stall. We continued to have our chicken noodle soup almost everyday until about the mid-70 when all the roadside food stalls in Taiping were relocated to the Hawkers Centre at the old circus ground.
Next: 34.Growing Up and Responsibilities »
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